*PLEASE KEEP IN MIND, I WROTE THIS BLOG MONTHS AGO THE DAY AFTER THE "CAT INCIDENT". I DON'T REALLY HATE CATS, JUST THIS ONE!
I fucking hate cats! just a quick one.. I'm not happy.. I'm not happy at all...
after finally getting sometime of work i was looking forward to getting to sleep in my own bed and wake up late in my own bed.WELLLLLL! i was rudely awoken from a deep sleep and all snug as a bug in a rug at 3.30 friggen am, by a stupid fucking cat that climbed my two stories into my window and nearly straight into my dogs mouth...
I woke up to war!!!{what is it good for???}...
it woulda been good if my dog managed to eat the little shit of a feral animal.. but he just missed.the dogs went nuts, and so did the cat, it clawed my dooner in an attempt to escape the jaws of hell, and the gummy jaws of an old mate scoobs! {my old dog with no teeth}...
it ran into my closet and climbed to the highest shelf where it sprayed cat piss all over my clothes and also dropped a few nuggets on em. mind you it was a 4 nugget experience for me to.... a little terrifying when ya dreaming of care bears and candy and ya get clawed and shit on!I locked my dogs out of the bed room. raced downstairs to get some food to try coax it out... it wouldn't come... the little fucker just sat there shitting on all my stuff!
so after an hour of trying to coax it or pick it up myself but it kept hissing... i got the broom and chased it out.It wasn't over!~!!the little turd climbed my curtains sat on top of the curtain rail and proceeded to piss on them as well....
I screamed.. i stuck my head out the window and yelled to my neighbours...
YOUR FUCKING CAT IS HERE, IT WILL BE MINCED!!!!
but no one came to my rescue! fuckers.......
it hit 5 am, i was gonna cry, this fucking cat just wouldn't stop stop spraying and crapping, it just sat there hissing... it wouldn't go... the evil evil fuck! the stench was so bad it bought tears to my eyes and waxed my nostril hairs, so i took my clawed up dooner, opened all the windows upstairs and gave the fucker the top part of my house to own! i went and slept on the couch with my shredded dooner.
i got up, and finally the little shit had gone. nothing left but nuggets and a river of piss and a shopping trip to buy a new doona and doona cover remind me of my incident...i will find this cat, i will pick it up and personally hand feed it to my dog. i will then send the remains to the fucked neighbour who cant keep his feral cats inside... to all you cat lovers out there.... lock the fuckers up... please...for your own cats sake!
lumps and sloppies all....cinsxxxxooooo
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Oh sweet Jesus! How did that cat survive?
ReplyDeleteOurs pissed in the car on way from Adl-Melb, we gagged for the next 4 hours! But curtains, clothes...you are one seriously tough woman :)
lmao.. its lucky it survived.. i was in tears.. the dogs were distruaght and the was just an asshole! tough night! i wont ever forget it!
ReplyDeleteughhh cat piss in the car.. soooo wrong.. how u survived the trip beats me!
Blah! What a crazy story!!! >_<
ReplyDeleteI personally don't understand the purpose of having cats as pets... What exactly do they do?! I mean, it's my job already to sleep, eat, pee and poo... LOL ~_^